MY LSD EXPERIENCE in 1994
Well, here's an experience that blew my MIND and opened up my soul. Or, perhaps I should say it "developed" my soul, because to say the least, for the very 1st time in my life, I had a transcendent experience that was the opening of the gates to greater understanding. And it happened while being on LSD! 
I was 19 yrs. old, it was the summer of 1994, and I was an avid Agnostic. I did not really believe in God and I was constantly battling with those who had claimed to be saved. I was determined to remain Atheist unless and until someone or something could prove to me that the paradigm I had imagined was a fallacy and also prove their own system to be non-contradictory. To say the least, I imagined this task would only occur by some miraculous intervention or not happen at all.
Anyway, on this particular occasion, it was only the second time I had experimented with LSD. I remember being fearful to take it as I had been conditioned at that point to fear going insane by taking drugs like that. I took the hit however, because I fell victim to the pressure of my peers who had also convinced me to do it on my first trip which was a severely bad trip. I thought to myself, "if this second trip is anything like the first, this is going to suck badly". Yes, the first trip was horrible. I remember locking myself in my room and struggling with my sanity fighting tooth and nail against the effects of the drug, something I was much better equipped to deal with second time around.
So, I ended up dropping 2 hits of a blotter paper with Felix the Cat printed on them.
My friends and I had previously consumed about 2 cases of Beer between the 5 of us and we were... drunk. A few hours later in the evening another friend stopped over with a sheet of Acid to sell, asking if we were interested to try a couple hits each. My very best friend of the group said, "Oh Mike, you gotta do this with us". I was kinda scared and hesitant because I knew my first experience was a nightmare. So bad, in fact, I had locked myself in my basement away from my relatives praying that I wasn't going insane. I sure felt I would never be sane as the LSD refused to wear off.
My best friend at the time, Chris, told me to trust him, he would know what to do if something strange was going to happen for me and that "Felix" was really really good stuff, not to worry. So, I insisted on 1 hit at first just to feel it out, which were $5 bucks each and Chris bought four hits, two for himself (which he placed under his tongue immediately) and two hits for me. I personally, started with only the one hit and saved the other one for later.
About a half hour goes by and I'm feeling sober. I remember thinking to myself, "what the hell. This shit sucks", so I decided to dissolve the 2nd hit under my tongue as any fear I was feeling within was dissolving into sureness and stability. By this time, everyone at the party was so much more sober and talkative, but I still wasn't experiencing what everyone else had been claiming to experience. They were waving their hands and watching the trails graze off of the movements. But I was not getting that. In fact, I was actually feeling more poised, centered, alert, and focused with an enhanced conscious awareness.
Another 30 minutes goes by and I've consumed a 12 pack of Busch beer all by myself and became excited about it, I remember telling everyone, "no matter how much I drink, I can't seem to feel it". My friends told me it was the acid. Acid has that effect where you can drink as much alcohol as you possibly can and it will not effect you at all. However, I still continued drinking just because I could. And it was about this time, 1 hour into the 1st hit and 30 minutes into the second, and all that beer that I had to take a major piss. Now, the pisser was in the basement and I had to walk past a huge group of people clustered in the kitchen, walk past them to arrive at the basement stairs. They were friendly as I passed by to do my business, nothing out of the ordinary. Normal people. I went downstairs, found the bathroom and began my pissing.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the urinating was like opening the relief valve on a high pressure cooker. I just kept pissing and pissing and suddenly I caught a glimpse of "what the fuck is going on???" The trip began... while I'm still pissing. At that moment it was like somebody had turned the volume up on reality so high that I could no longer understand what was happening around me. Peripherally, I caught some vibratory waves echoing toward me and I turned to look and they were still vibrations or emanations. I shook my head, turned and faced the toilet and continued pissing. The wall behind the toilet began melting like piss flowing downward like a waterfall. Still being in a highly aware state, I refused to acknowledge and believe what had been happening to me. I hurried the piss up, zipped up and ran back up the stairs.
As soon as I thought I caught my bearings and made it up the steps to the kitchen, there were 5 people there conversing and began asking me some questions I can't recall what. I turned to face them to converse and at that moment, the really strange, life altering shit began. Now, I knew all five of these people. We weren't "friends" per se, but we were always hanging with the same groups. Anyhow, when I had turned to engage the conversation, I was instantly horrified as to the vision I was seeing. I blinked my eyes like three different times, clenching the lids as tightly as possible only to reopen and find the same inconsistency as before.
Three of these people had brownish, hideous, ghoulishly DEMONIC faces that were sagging out of proportion with their bodies.
The other two had this great lighted halo around their entire head and their features were more pure than they had been prior.
The three demons, were only recognizable by their voices. I could understand who they were but could not understand why they were transformed as fiends. And it struck me as most odd that the angelic appearing ones seemed to be unaware of the demonic nature that the other three possessed. The three became clued in to the fact that I had awareness of their "demonic nature" probably by the behavior I was exhibiting while they're trying to have an ordinary conversation with me. Looking back, I'm thinking to myself, "Yeah, I would be able to stand there and pretend everything was normal, RIGHT!"
I could tell by their body language and eye movements that they had became fearful of being exposed. Kinda like how a psychopaths only fear in the world is the fear of exposure, I was equally scared but in an entirely different context. Their presence scared the hell out of me, I'm not going to lie. In fact, I panicked. I panicked so bad that I ran away from them giving no explanation.
I ran into a corner inside the living room of the house, found a secluded place, dropped down and prayed for the first time in my life.
I did not know who or what I was praying to. I just naturally fell down to my knees, embraced my hands together and cried out in anxiety,
"If there is a God, please reveal to me what you are".
What happened next changed my life FOREVER!
As soon as I asked that question, the answer arrived into my consciousness instantly. Not in the form of a voice, but in the form of an experience. Like I had always known the answer but somehow had forgotten it. This experience, as I look back now, would be considered a moment of pure clarity, divine intervention, epiphany, or awakening. At that moment, I possessed all knowledge and knew all the possible answers to everything I had a question for, even before I thought of the question, effortlessly. The best way I can describe this is that, if you can imagine, I was in the middle of the entirety of all known concepts and contexts. From the center position of that knowledge base, understanding was known because it all emanated from there like tentacles. I could literally sense every branching out effect to every cause and know the answer to every effect and for-see the effect of every cause.
The first question: "If there is a God, please reveal what you are". Instantly, Blackness appeared and just like the movie starwars when the ship goes into hyper-speed or warp-speed, that is how it happened.
I was transported to the core of the Universe beyond the speed of light, instantly. Stars and galaxies were passing me so quickly, blindingly fast that it was a blur of streaks of star light.
I arrived instantly at a central point and felt incredible peace and love. I can only describe it as INSTANT TRANSMISSION. Internally, I knew this was the 1st cause of all creation AND that I was not separate from it. It was a consciousness so ancient and all knowing, I knew and felt as if this is where I came from. My whole being was "in tune" with it for the first time in my life. This consciousness had no form of a body, it just was. all pervading, ever-present, all knowing, and absolute in every case. Unlike the Sun in our galaxy, it did not radiate light, it radiated love. I felt so at peace and I knew this consciousness was glad to finally get me and have my attention. This all knowing, absolute loving 1st cause portrayed to me that it was the 1st cause of everything that exists, that I need not worry, we will always be one and the same, and that it is always with us at all times, places... like a part of us, or us being a part of it. It was also clear that this consciousness was both masculine and feminine. The final impression I received was that everything in creation has a consciousness that was made in it's image, but that Humans were the ultimate expression of this ancient 1st cause.
The most memorable event that struck me and completely altered the course of my life was that all knowledge is knowable. Truth is knowable! But not only knowable by books, but knowable by discovery through personal inquiry into your SELF. That's where it's at!!
Immediately, far too soon, I was zapped back into my physical body. The star light began propelling away from me in reverse, away from the center at the speed of light, I was back in my body, suddenly, in the living room where I was on my knees as if no time at all had passed. In fact, none had! At that point, back here in my body, i had all the knowledge and understanding at my disposal. Whenever someone asked me a question, the answer flowed out like I was the character in the Bible known as Christ. When confronted with a problem, the solution was immediately known to me without any thought. I felt like a superman and I "knew" I was the smartest man walking the Earth at that moment.
I walked over to some friends rolling dice. I asked them if I could play and they agreed. Before I rolled the dice for the first time, I called the numbers out loud that I wished to manifest on the board.
Confidently, as if it were second nature, I called the numbers while shaking the dice and threw them down. BAM! The dice landed... on the very numbers i called.
The people were exclaiming "No way", but weren't all that impressed. So I raised a wager. I said to them that I will call out the number before the dice land and they will always fall on the number I call. They agreed and I continued with the demonstration/ game. I called and rolled and hit! Over and over.
They bet me I couldn't reproduce those results again, after all, I had already beat the odds far too many times already. I was bound to lose and this is where people who were not there have a difficult time believing what happened next.
There were 6 people playing the dice game and they were shocked and amazed at what they, themselves, were witnessing. Some of them were cheering me on while others were trying to physically force the dice out of my hands. I rolled perfect numbers in alignment with my prediction 99 times. NINETY-NINE TIMES!!! The dice players were counting the number of rolls I made correct, out loud, and they finally stopped the game at 99 perfect calls! I remember them counting as I rolled the die over and over, each time building more and more excitement with the crowd. I remember my composure being in a state of relaxation, poise and calm as if this was nothing un-ordinary at all. Finally, one guy got freaked out so bad that he would not physically allow me to roll again. He pleaded with me that that was enough and took the dice from my hands. "No more, you're freaking me out, Man", he said.
After that, I walked outside then with my friend Chris and there was 3 of our friends trying to lift up the tail end of a car just outside the house. I asked them if they would let me try all by myself. They were laughing amongst themselves like I was crazy. I grabbed that bumper and picked the tail end of the car off the ground without any struggle.
It was at that moment that I knew I was capable of anything on LSD.
Just a little later, 3 girls I went to high school with, but did not know very well, showed up at the party who were not tripping. I read their minds and their hearts, inside and out. I knew their motives, desires, dreams, aspirations and I'm telling you, I was tuned into a telepathic stream of consciousness that I can not describe effectively. As I said before, I could "sense" everything. At one point, I remember thinking to myself that I was probably smarter than Einstein and instantly, my internal being KNEW that this was true. I had an internal truth meter that was clicked on.
Anyhow, these girls...I tore them to pieces, revealing their innermost secrets. Who they slept with, what their motives were for doing that, and how when they get drunk, they'll spread their legs for anybody. I told them, "You should be ashamed". I judged them harshly showing no compassion, empathy or love. I was being an almighty, righteous asshole and my indignation angered them.
As they were lashing out at my brutally honest condemnations, I could feel the fear in their souls. I could sense, also, that they believed I learned this information from other people as a rumor.
No, I knew their hearts and minds.
One of the girls, whom I read as a pure virgin, stuck up for the other two and argued with me, but I shut her up quick when I revealed to her that she had a secret crush on my friend KC and I was going to tell him right then. These girls were beside themselves, angry at me, probably would have crucified me if they could. Instead, they reacted emotionally, loudly and were reminiscent of chickens in a hen house. Threatening to get me beat up, at which point my friends assailed me away from that and drove me home.
Anyway, that's my LSD story. It changed my life. I have certainly learned a lot since this occurred and were it to happen again, would definitely do things a lot differently.I have actually tried to find LSD again over the last 15 years with no success. It's like I can't get my hands on it again to save my life. For the longest time, I wanted some to take with me to Las Vegas and use it clean them out. I wanted some to write down or record the baddest ass CD ever produced. I wanted some to meet God again and thank him to his face. I wanted some for a lot of selfish reasons and I suspected that's why I have had no luck on finding it again. I certainly would not treat anybody with that holier than thou, destructive premise I embodied. I have grown leaps and bounds since then. Rather, I would probably use it to develop ideas to release the chains of bondage that constrict humanity from understanding their place in the universe. Yes, that is definitely what I would do.
Hope you liked my story. I tried to make it as brief as possible, So much more happened that night, but I just wanted to portray how it enlightened my worldview for the rest of my life. Today I am 39 and I would use LSD again anytime! Thanks for hearing my story. I hope you like it! Peace and love
I was 19 yrs. old, it was the summer of 1994, and I was an avid Agnostic. I did not really believe in God and I was constantly battling with those who had claimed to be saved. I was determined to remain Atheist unless and until someone or something could prove to me that the paradigm I had imagined was a fallacy and also prove their own system to be non-contradictory. To say the least, I imagined this task would only occur by some miraculous intervention or not happen at all.
Anyway, on this particular occasion, it was only the second time I had experimented with LSD. I remember being fearful to take it as I had been conditioned at that point to fear going insane by taking drugs like that. I took the hit however, because I fell victim to the pressure of my peers who had also convinced me to do it on my first trip which was a severely bad trip. I thought to myself, "if this second trip is anything like the first, this is going to suck badly". Yes, the first trip was horrible. I remember locking myself in my room and struggling with my sanity fighting tooth and nail against the effects of the drug, something I was much better equipped to deal with second time around.
So, I ended up dropping 2 hits of a blotter paper with Felix the Cat printed on them.
My friends and I had previously consumed about 2 cases of Beer between the 5 of us and we were... drunk. A few hours later in the evening another friend stopped over with a sheet of Acid to sell, asking if we were interested to try a couple hits each. My very best friend of the group said, "Oh Mike, you gotta do this with us". I was kinda scared and hesitant because I knew my first experience was a nightmare. So bad, in fact, I had locked myself in my basement away from my relatives praying that I wasn't going insane. I sure felt I would never be sane as the LSD refused to wear off.
My best friend at the time, Chris, told me to trust him, he would know what to do if something strange was going to happen for me and that "Felix" was really really good stuff, not to worry. So, I insisted on 1 hit at first just to feel it out, which were $5 bucks each and Chris bought four hits, two for himself (which he placed under his tongue immediately) and two hits for me. I personally, started with only the one hit and saved the other one for later.
About a half hour goes by and I'm feeling sober. I remember thinking to myself, "what the hell. This shit sucks", so I decided to dissolve the 2nd hit under my tongue as any fear I was feeling within was dissolving into sureness and stability. By this time, everyone at the party was so much more sober and talkative, but I still wasn't experiencing what everyone else had been claiming to experience. They were waving their hands and watching the trails graze off of the movements. But I was not getting that. In fact, I was actually feeling more poised, centered, alert, and focused with an enhanced conscious awareness.
Another 30 minutes goes by and I've consumed a 12 pack of Busch beer all by myself and became excited about it, I remember telling everyone, "no matter how much I drink, I can't seem to feel it". My friends told me it was the acid. Acid has that effect where you can drink as much alcohol as you possibly can and it will not effect you at all. However, I still continued drinking just because I could. And it was about this time, 1 hour into the 1st hit and 30 minutes into the second, and all that beer that I had to take a major piss. Now, the pisser was in the basement and I had to walk past a huge group of people clustered in the kitchen, walk past them to arrive at the basement stairs. They were friendly as I passed by to do my business, nothing out of the ordinary. Normal people. I went downstairs, found the bathroom and began my pissing.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the urinating was like opening the relief valve on a high pressure cooker. I just kept pissing and pissing and suddenly I caught a glimpse of "what the fuck is going on???" The trip began... while I'm still pissing. At that moment it was like somebody had turned the volume up on reality so high that I could no longer understand what was happening around me. Peripherally, I caught some vibratory waves echoing toward me and I turned to look and they were still vibrations or emanations. I shook my head, turned and faced the toilet and continued pissing. The wall behind the toilet began melting like piss flowing downward like a waterfall. Still being in a highly aware state, I refused to acknowledge and believe what had been happening to me. I hurried the piss up, zipped up and ran back up the stairs.
As soon as I thought I caught my bearings and made it up the steps to the kitchen, there were 5 people there conversing and began asking me some questions I can't recall what. I turned to face them to converse and at that moment, the really strange, life altering shit began. Now, I knew all five of these people. We weren't "friends" per se, but we were always hanging with the same groups. Anyhow, when I had turned to engage the conversation, I was instantly horrified as to the vision I was seeing. I blinked my eyes like three different times, clenching the lids as tightly as possible only to reopen and find the same inconsistency as before.
Three of these people had brownish, hideous, ghoulishly DEMONIC faces that were sagging out of proportion with their bodies.
The other two had this great lighted halo around their entire head and their features were more pure than they had been prior.
The three demons, were only recognizable by their voices. I could understand who they were but could not understand why they were transformed as fiends. And it struck me as most odd that the angelic appearing ones seemed to be unaware of the demonic nature that the other three possessed. The three became clued in to the fact that I had awareness of their "demonic nature" probably by the behavior I was exhibiting while they're trying to have an ordinary conversation with me. Looking back, I'm thinking to myself, "Yeah, I would be able to stand there and pretend everything was normal, RIGHT!"
I could tell by their body language and eye movements that they had became fearful of being exposed. Kinda like how a psychopaths only fear in the world is the fear of exposure, I was equally scared but in an entirely different context. Their presence scared the hell out of me, I'm not going to lie. In fact, I panicked. I panicked so bad that I ran away from them giving no explanation.
I ran into a corner inside the living room of the house, found a secluded place, dropped down and prayed for the first time in my life.
I did not know who or what I was praying to. I just naturally fell down to my knees, embraced my hands together and cried out in anxiety,
"If there is a God, please reveal to me what you are".
What happened next changed my life FOREVER!
As soon as I asked that question, the answer arrived into my consciousness instantly. Not in the form of a voice, but in the form of an experience. Like I had always known the answer but somehow had forgotten it. This experience, as I look back now, would be considered a moment of pure clarity, divine intervention, epiphany, or awakening. At that moment, I possessed all knowledge and knew all the possible answers to everything I had a question for, even before I thought of the question, effortlessly. The best way I can describe this is that, if you can imagine, I was in the middle of the entirety of all known concepts and contexts. From the center position of that knowledge base, understanding was known because it all emanated from there like tentacles. I could literally sense every branching out effect to every cause and know the answer to every effect and for-see the effect of every cause.
The first question: "If there is a God, please reveal what you are". Instantly, Blackness appeared and just like the movie starwars when the ship goes into hyper-speed or warp-speed, that is how it happened.
I was transported to the core of the Universe beyond the speed of light, instantly. Stars and galaxies were passing me so quickly, blindingly fast that it was a blur of streaks of star light.
I arrived instantly at a central point and felt incredible peace and love. I can only describe it as INSTANT TRANSMISSION. Internally, I knew this was the 1st cause of all creation AND that I was not separate from it. It was a consciousness so ancient and all knowing, I knew and felt as if this is where I came from. My whole being was "in tune" with it for the first time in my life. This consciousness had no form of a body, it just was. all pervading, ever-present, all knowing, and absolute in every case. Unlike the Sun in our galaxy, it did not radiate light, it radiated love. I felt so at peace and I knew this consciousness was glad to finally get me and have my attention. This all knowing, absolute loving 1st cause portrayed to me that it was the 1st cause of everything that exists, that I need not worry, we will always be one and the same, and that it is always with us at all times, places... like a part of us, or us being a part of it. It was also clear that this consciousness was both masculine and feminine. The final impression I received was that everything in creation has a consciousness that was made in it's image, but that Humans were the ultimate expression of this ancient 1st cause.
The most memorable event that struck me and completely altered the course of my life was that all knowledge is knowable. Truth is knowable! But not only knowable by books, but knowable by discovery through personal inquiry into your SELF. That's where it's at!!
Immediately, far too soon, I was zapped back into my physical body. The star light began propelling away from me in reverse, away from the center at the speed of light, I was back in my body, suddenly, in the living room where I was on my knees as if no time at all had passed. In fact, none had! At that point, back here in my body, i had all the knowledge and understanding at my disposal. Whenever someone asked me a question, the answer flowed out like I was the character in the Bible known as Christ. When confronted with a problem, the solution was immediately known to me without any thought. I felt like a superman and I "knew" I was the smartest man walking the Earth at that moment.
I walked over to some friends rolling dice. I asked them if I could play and they agreed. Before I rolled the dice for the first time, I called the numbers out loud that I wished to manifest on the board.
Confidently, as if it were second nature, I called the numbers while shaking the dice and threw them down. BAM! The dice landed... on the very numbers i called.
The people were exclaiming "No way", but weren't all that impressed. So I raised a wager. I said to them that I will call out the number before the dice land and they will always fall on the number I call. They agreed and I continued with the demonstration/ game. I called and rolled and hit! Over and over.
They bet me I couldn't reproduce those results again, after all, I had already beat the odds far too many times already. I was bound to lose and this is where people who were not there have a difficult time believing what happened next.
There were 6 people playing the dice game and they were shocked and amazed at what they, themselves, were witnessing. Some of them were cheering me on while others were trying to physically force the dice out of my hands. I rolled perfect numbers in alignment with my prediction 99 times. NINETY-NINE TIMES!!! The dice players were counting the number of rolls I made correct, out loud, and they finally stopped the game at 99 perfect calls! I remember them counting as I rolled the die over and over, each time building more and more excitement with the crowd. I remember my composure being in a state of relaxation, poise and calm as if this was nothing un-ordinary at all. Finally, one guy got freaked out so bad that he would not physically allow me to roll again. He pleaded with me that that was enough and took the dice from my hands. "No more, you're freaking me out, Man", he said.
After that, I walked outside then with my friend Chris and there was 3 of our friends trying to lift up the tail end of a car just outside the house. I asked them if they would let me try all by myself. They were laughing amongst themselves like I was crazy. I grabbed that bumper and picked the tail end of the car off the ground without any struggle.
It was at that moment that I knew I was capable of anything on LSD.
Just a little later, 3 girls I went to high school with, but did not know very well, showed up at the party who were not tripping. I read their minds and their hearts, inside and out. I knew their motives, desires, dreams, aspirations and I'm telling you, I was tuned into a telepathic stream of consciousness that I can not describe effectively. As I said before, I could "sense" everything. At one point, I remember thinking to myself that I was probably smarter than Einstein and instantly, my internal being KNEW that this was true. I had an internal truth meter that was clicked on.
Anyhow, these girls...I tore them to pieces, revealing their innermost secrets. Who they slept with, what their motives were for doing that, and how when they get drunk, they'll spread their legs for anybody. I told them, "You should be ashamed". I judged them harshly showing no compassion, empathy or love. I was being an almighty, righteous asshole and my indignation angered them.
As they were lashing out at my brutally honest condemnations, I could feel the fear in their souls. I could sense, also, that they believed I learned this information from other people as a rumor.
No, I knew their hearts and minds.
One of the girls, whom I read as a pure virgin, stuck up for the other two and argued with me, but I shut her up quick when I revealed to her that she had a secret crush on my friend KC and I was going to tell him right then. These girls were beside themselves, angry at me, probably would have crucified me if they could. Instead, they reacted emotionally, loudly and were reminiscent of chickens in a hen house. Threatening to get me beat up, at which point my friends assailed me away from that and drove me home.
Anyway, that's my LSD story. It changed my life. I have certainly learned a lot since this occurred and were it to happen again, would definitely do things a lot differently.I have actually tried to find LSD again over the last 15 years with no success. It's like I can't get my hands on it again to save my life. For the longest time, I wanted some to take with me to Las Vegas and use it clean them out. I wanted some to write down or record the baddest ass CD ever produced. I wanted some to meet God again and thank him to his face. I wanted some for a lot of selfish reasons and I suspected that's why I have had no luck on finding it again. I certainly would not treat anybody with that holier than thou, destructive premise I embodied. I have grown leaps and bounds since then. Rather, I would probably use it to develop ideas to release the chains of bondage that constrict humanity from understanding their place in the universe. Yes, that is definitely what I would do.
Hope you liked my story. I tried to make it as brief as possible, So much more happened that night, but I just wanted to portray how it enlightened my worldview for the rest of my life. Today I am 39 and I would use LSD again anytime! Thanks for hearing my story. I hope you like it! Peace and love
No comments:
Post a Comment